Marriages bring together two people with often different financial backgrounds and money stories. But what works for first marriages may not work for second marriages, especially when children are added to the mix. Blending finances can introduce unique challenges, from balancing different money habits to navigating financial obligations from previous relationships. There are several different ways to navigate finances when blending families.
Start With a Conversation About Money
Before blending, each side of a new family has had their own processes, expenses, assets, debts, parenting styles and relationship with money. These may have been in effect for years and changing habits can be difficult. Knowing where your spouse is coming from, specifically their relationship with money, is an important starting point. Are they savers? Spenders? Are there existing expenses like child support, debt or private school that they are obligated to cover that take a significant amount of their income? In addition to day-to-day finances, blended families should review retirement accounts, beneficiary designations and estate plans to ensure they reflect their new family structure and long-term goals. Being clear on income and expenses and your money values is critical to starting out on the right foot. Have this conversation up front so you both know where you stand and so you can discuss your options together.
Be Transparent
One key point that helps for successfully blending finances is transparency. You may decide to keep funds separate but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be transparent about income and spending. Setting aside time during the week to share spending and income and being open to your partner’s thoughts can lead to a successful partnership. Money can be a major source of conflict in marriage, and financial disagreements can place meaningful stress on a relationship. Second marriages have the added stress of blended family complexities. Being as open as possible about money can help make a new relationship successful.
Consider a Joint Account
Having joint accounts provides transparency that can foster greater trust around money. Many blended families choose to keep separate accounts. One study found that 45% of spouses in blended families preferred separate bank accounts, compared with just 14% who had at least one joint account. This may reflect prior experiences with money and relationships, making financial caution understandable. While each partner in a blended family has often had separate accounts and their own income before forming a new family, it is worth considering at least one joint account for shared household expenses. Considering income and expenses as "joint," rather than belonging solely to the partner who earned them, can increase transparency and reinforce the idea that the money belongs to the family unit as a whole rather than existing as two separate financial lives.
Schedule Money Check-ins
Setting aside time each month to review spending and discuss any financial changes, such as a bonus or an unexpected expense, can help keep finances on track. These check-ins not only promote financial transparency but also help preserve connection. If having these conversations feels awkward or they simply don't happen because one spouse is hesitant, consider working with a third party. Certified Financial Planner® professionals are experienced in helping blended families successfully navigate their finances.
Blended families benefit from intentional financial strategies. By talking through your finances and money habits, being open and transparent about spending and income, maintaining at least one joint account for shared expenses, and setting aside time for regular check-ins, families can successfully blend their finances. If a third-party perspective or guidance is needed, reach out to a CFP® professional.
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